Box Office Breakdown! A Quiet Place Roars Back To Number One! I Feel Pretty Wasn’t At Number 3! And More!

I feel pretty looked so damn stupid. Just tell me why this chick is in movies. She’s gross.

Is it me, or does everything Janet T. says make her sound like a nasty snatch?

Oh Susan,

Time is short so I must be brief. The candles are lit, the dances have been danced by the dancers who only dance the dances they love. But that dance is incomplete. Hush now. Pause for a beat as we assess the horror happening. Oh…

Now, I have a fleeting moment but the sadness in my soul is taking hold. I can’t fight anymore my dear one, the light of the grace of the church of my heart well spring. I want to dance gayley though the underbrush of our time but I can not. It is done. We are a fleeing morsel in the snack treats of life. Done. Gone. Sad.

I hear through the myna birds that a new quest is starting. Which is why I had to talk to you. I was worried, but then I wasn’t worried but then I thought I should be worried about not being worried and worry some more. Oh Susan, the light cascades down you face and sparkles into your bosom and into your soul, seeping goodness like a moist towelette. You are love. You are joy. And you are alone, the cursed torment of the truly wonderful.

An update for me. I am in the big city and working like the proverbial dog. I shuffle papers, and keep the meter running on this fortune 500 company. They tell me I’m due for a raise and the hairy bohunks that work here like to befriend me and call me “nan” and “sis.” I don’t mind servicing them, but it gets sticky. One time, we were all going for a work retreat and I soon realized that I was the only female in the car of seven men. Well once we pulled off on the gravel road you can imagine what happened. Lots of spit went into that one. Whew! I was tired. They wouldn’t let me back into the car after that because I was quite the soaking mess but I did get a small vehicle to get home. I didn’t mind waiting the couple hours. I did get a cinnamon candy after which was a delightful taste treat.

I know what you’re going to say Susan, “Hoist the barge and tote that bail. Wanda put your back into it.” Well I did. I could hear you speaking to me, “Wanda get the lead out and open your mouth wider.” I will next time. There’s another retreat in a few weeks and I’m breaking out the asparagus.

Susan, I must tell you, I’m depressed. During the outing one of the men I was servicing flipped me over and put his… You know… in a place I wasn’t expecting. My mouth was full so I couldn’t say anything because there was seven of them to service but it was jarring. I know you’re a woman of the world, so when this happens to you, how do you process it. My father who is living in the woods. Oh, your tree is dead. Dead, dead, dead. My father said to be more forceful, but when your ass up in the field with seven men who need servicing I’m not sure what to do?

So… And I know I said time is short, but you keep making me talk. The quest you’re on will fail. I’ve danced and dance but the seer says you will fail. The beautiful fanboy who is wonderous will fall into depression. He’s there now. Help him Susan. The minstral is an evil death machine. Only meant to do harm to those he touches. and the colorful one… She’s a demon with two heads. The scruffy one is as useless as cabbage gas, so who care. Plop him down and use his body as a bump or cone. That’s the ticket.

I’ve seen the lanky one, He hates not having bees around him. They produce honey and the frenchman is as jovial as ever. He chased me around wanting to splash me with his armpit sweat. I was like, well… If I have to. What would Susan do in this situation and I know you would lick and lick as much as you can. I’m just not that kind of girl.

As I was sitting on that gravel road I thought about life and how now, I have a big time career and you’re in the dust Susan. It’s okay. I still think of you as the warrior goddess of life who shines with the golden sun. It might be dimmer by the light of day, but it still shines.

I wrote a quick song for the hot one.

Hot, ohhhh so hot. I want to dance with the hot one, dance dance. Let’s dance with the hot one. Dance, dance. Where…. Do you dance? Hot on, oh hot one. I…. Dance in the sun. Do you, do you, do you? Dance, Mr. Hot one. You’re not Suddenly Susan. You’re the hot one. Dance… Ohhhhhhhhh dance. Let’s sing too….. Sing… Oh hot one sing.

I think we have a hit.

I’m turning all my attention and dances to the hot one now. He needs them Susan. He needs to know of the goodness. One day you should rub him for a treat.

Toodles and toshes…

Wow…. I’m trying to process that comment from Wanda. I don’t understand.

I miss the Wanda comments! So literate for a psycho