It was a hot and sticky day. And yet, I persisted in heading out to the unwashed streets of Hollywood… Why? Very good question. For Ms. Renée Zellweger. Why? Because she was in Empire Records! Hello!
I love that movie so much. If you haven’t seen it, it’s such a 1990s teen staple. I also also brought Bridget Jones because you know… She’s Renée Zellweger!
When I arrived she had already gone in and there was only one other collector there. Renée Zellweger was on a local talk show.
And then… We waited…
It wasn’t long and a few more people joined. I passed the time by making fun of fellow collectors for their choice of memorabilia and stared at the ground watching the sand pass by the hourglass of my life.
Yes,… It’s nothing but pulse pounding excitement sometimes, being on the streets of Hollywood. The mean streets… The streets that have no name.
No, I have not been drinking. But that sounds damn good.
I was admiring one fan’s Bridget Jones one sheet poster and made fun of his manhood. I would love to see a Man Cave with a Bridget Jones poster hand signed by Renée Zellweger. I mean, that is comfort in your masculinity… This is coming from the man who has a cast signed Steel Magnolias piece in his bedroom double matted under UV glass.
Then finally movement… Renée Zellweger comes out and ducks… Yep, the six of us get the shaft. Now, I was told that it was because of the one paparazzi there. Okay…
Yep, my photos suck. Sorry.
So, we go to where Renée Zellweger’s car is leaving.
And wait… And wait… and wait…
Apparently, Renée Zellweger is in deep deep conversation with her publicist and we don’t want to even interrupt her by asking her to sign. It’s a serious convo… Or it’s about the fact that she wants only blue Fruity Pebbles in her backstage dressing room. To be honest, who the hell knows, but it looked intense.
Renée Zellweger then pulled out. She was driving herself and rolled down the window. The six people rushed to the window and then calmed down once Renée Zellweger said, “No photos, and guys I’m going to do one each okay?” So she was calmly signing and said, “I just couldn’t drive away after seeing you all!”
It was pretty damn adorable.
Renée Zellweger signed my Empire Records poster and then proceeded to sign for everyone. Finally, the guy who had the one sheet said, “Renee would you mind signing my other poster, I really don’t want to spend all day at your premiere tomorrow.”
Renée Zellweger stopped and said, “That was so honest! I love that honesty!” she signed his second and my second poster and that was it.
It was very sweet actually. She was adorbs!
Until next time kids…
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