Written Revelry! The Novel Strumpet’s “Fifty Shades of Grey” Rambling Movie Review

I know, I know, I know. Can we please stop talking about this book and film?

Nope.

Face it people. This ‘phenomenon’ is here for a while so you might as well just batten down the hatches until the storm blows over again.

I have to admit that I am one of those people who read the books because it started as “Twilight” fan fiction (her backtracking and saying ‘inspired’ by is just ridiculous I’ve seen the original and there was barely any changes.) and I wanted to see if you could tell that it was fan fiction once it was published.

Boy howdy could you ever!

But that’s not what this is about. This is about the fact that after the torturous experience of reading those books, I decided to punish myself with the movie.

And not in the good way 😉

So, if you wanna know how I felt watch the video. If you don’t want to sit through 15 minutes of my (and my friend’s) early morning ramblings here’s the quick version.

1. Not the worst movie I’ve ever seen. That title still belongs to “The Bounty Hunter” (sorry Gerry Butler, not even you’re epic Scottish hotness could save that one).
2. I actually like Anna in the film. I HATED her in the books. I can’t even describe the level of hate I felt for her in the books. It’s epic. I think it helps I didn’t have to live in her head so her inane dialogue didn’t get to me. I mean she’s an English Lit major with a 4.0 and she can’t form a decent sentence. It’s like Lois Lane syndrome. It’s embarrassing.
3. I felt they handled some of the BDSM with more respect than the book did.
4. SHE NEVER SAYS ‘INNER GODDESS’ – HALLELUJAH!
5. He only says “Laters Baby” once – HALLELUJAH!
6. The clothes are fabulous.
7. Jennifer Ehle looks amazing!
8. “Inspired” moments:

• Anna’s graduation dress is very similar to Bella’s prom dress
• The color scheme (grays and muted blues, etc) is pretty much the same as the first “Twilight” movie
• He drives her to the woods in and Audi where they stand in front of a sparkling lily pond (which looks like a meadow) and talk about how long he’s been a Dom (‘say it…out loud…’ geez)
• He flies a glider a la “Thomas Crown Affair”
• Mr. Grey is the Dom from the movie “Secretary”

So here’s the rest if you care.

Warning *Spoiler Alerts, Bad Language and Adult Themes Ahead*