Box Office Breakdown! Fifty Shades Of Grey Sexes Up Number One! Kingsman Shocks At Number Two!
Audiences got their S&M on this Valentine’s Day weekend, as 50 Shades of Grey whipped up $81.6 million this weekend!
Kingsman: the Secret Service had a smashing showing at number two with $35.6 million.
SpongeBob soaked up another $30.5 million at number three for a domestic total of $93.6 million.
American Sniper was still in the cross hairs at number four with $16.4 million and a massive domestic total of $304 million.
Jupiter Ascending descended to number five with $9.4 million and a domestic total of $32.5 million.
Seventh Son slipped to number six after just two weeks in release with $4.1 million.
Paddington nabbed another $4.15 million at number seven and a cushy domestic total of $62.3 million.
The Imitation Game held onto number eight and a chance at winning best picture next weekend with $3.5 million.
The Wedding Ringer vowed to raise its profit at number nine with $3.4 million and a domestic total of $59.7 million.
Rounding out the top ten was Project Almanac with $2.7 million. Someone should go back in time and axe this stinker from ever being made.
Check out the full box office chart below:
1 Fifty Shades of Grey $81,670,000 $81,670,000
2 Kingsman: The Secret Service $35,600,000 $35,600,000
3 The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water $30,540,000 $93,673,000
4 American Sniper $16,435,000 $304,133,000
5 Jupiter Ascending $9,430,000 $32,551,000
6 Seventh Son $4,153,000 $13,423,000
7 Paddington $4,150,000 $62,343,000
8 The Imitation Game $3,525,000 $79,657,000
9 The Wedding Ringer $3,400,000 $59,743,000
10 Project Almanac $2,730,000 $19,560,000
Two new comedies, The Duff and Hot Tub Time Machine 2 go into battle next weekend, but my money’s on 50 Shades to pull a repeat at number one. Tune in to see if I’m right.
Until then, happy movie going!
Share on Facebook
Suddenly Susan! My dream, my hope, my future. For I am adrift in the land of dirt and old molasses without the comfort and joy of the Suddenly Susan in my life. I dance, but I dance for potion and not heart, I sign but I don’t sing for the people. I sing for the one!
Oh…
Yes, Susan time is short, it is but a brief flicker of dulllooos and drums. I have no time, so much to say, it must be in mind and not words.
Now, I fear the worst. I know you are in the darkness but I say, come out, come out! Wanda is here! I will lift you out and dust you off to blow on your every pore and make you new. I will rub your buttocks in peanut butter and roast it, until everything is crunchy and new and only then will we find the bright flicker, the spot in our souls that makes us whole. As a couple, as a unit, as two.
We will call ourselves the two.
COME OUT!
I fear it’s been some time Susan and left me just say, Tooshies! Like a baby’s bottom. I am doing so well. Joy is radiating out of me and even my vagina smells like lollypops.
I have cast off Henry. Oh… The small membered turnip farmer is a vague and distant memory. After being in the field in the three walled shack it occurred to me that I never saw his penis. So, when I went looking I was agast. No more. He ended up going out with Linda and her two squarely jawed stepchildren. Now, they live in Ballabeg and he wants to make paint. Please, he wouldn’t know color if a peacock took a shit up his nose.
Now, I have a new place to stay. After the turnips, I went back home and lived in the woods. I planeted a tree named DoobyDuck and nursed it to growth. Oh to give back to the earth and smell the epervescent dew. DoobyDuck then was sprouting fine and I said, I need something new, and you know, I haven’t danced since that sad porch swing accident. Two gerbils died.
But then I said, I’m going to put my left feet forward, I said, “Wanda, put your left feet forward!” and I danced. Oh Susan, the dancing that happened. Two people came by and thought I was having a seizure and I laughed. I laughed and said, “I’m not having a seize, I’m getting my groove!”
I felt like the huntress slayer her foes on the ground of the mirth rock and licking the ground of the catterfelt. Yep, it’s laundry day. Wash away the grime and put on a clean shirt. Susan, wear deodorant.
Now, after leaving DoobyDuck to fend on his own, (Sadly, he got peed on by a stray mann cat and turned brown and died) I said, more success to come.
I moved back to the big city, threw up, and went back to the small village of Braaid. I love it. The people take care of me and love my dances. They tape me and tell me stories of good tidings. One day I will work in the Stuggadhoo, and embrace the spirit of the people.
I still look down on them of course, I mean, listen I’m Wanda, I am invincible. I’m friends with Suddenly Susan and she’s a warrior. With her hair blowing in the breeze and her belly filled with juniper berries and fennel. I want everything you have. I want to soak in your essence once again.
I feel like our bond is weak and really it’s all on you Suddenly Susan. I felt that I could leave you and you would still hear my calls through the miles and in truth you failed. I heard nothing. I heard the silence of a call in the woods with no sound. “Ploopy, Ploopy, Ploopy.”
I don’t mean to talk about how amazing I’m doing, I mean I’m almost at the Stuggadhoo. Especially when you’re in the downs. But it should make you feel good knowing I’m so good and your not. I would wash your hair strand by stand if it could reverse your fortune. I would rub the pores of your fingertips until then sparkled to make you rise to the top. I want to hug you and feel your touch.
Susan, come to me and together we will both work the Stuggadhoo and laugh, and sing, and laugh and sing and laugh and sing and then chuckle. Oh…. Dreams right. But I am no longer a little girl, I am Wanda, sage and world weary. I have tackled the big city, lived in the forest, and I have seen your face in my dreams. You were in a boat with mist swiftly enveloping you. I said, “Suddenly Susan, you’re in a boat with mist swiftly enveloping you!” You looked over and said, and I remember this loud and clear because truer words can never be spoken. You said, “Yes, Wanda.”
Damn… I’m in spechless awe. To hear you say my name was too much to handle. I tried to find a sailer but that was a miss.
I must go Susan, I said time was brief. Shhhhhhh…
Tell the bohunk and the minstrel, “Hi” They deserve that. A Hi from Wanda.
The things the bohunk is about I like.
Oh, I met a celebrity! I didn’t tell you, well in my thoughts I did but let’s be honest I know you’re not reading those!
Hershel Zen, the tuba player from the church band. He was a lark and said he wanted to blow my horn. I laughed and smiled and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and then I stopped. Thew a wrinkle in that work!
That’s right Hershel. Wanda’s not so easy anymore.
We’re living together now. Hershel is 5’3 and 389 pounds. I weigh him everyday and make him eat sour cream on toast.
I must go Susan, I know you want to talk more, I am out. Just out. You spend me. My energy is gone. But God I miss you and our chats. Ohhh… Please come back to me Susan. You are the one, the one that sheds love and makes me a whole woman.
Oh, I got that puppy.
Toodles and toshes!
holy hell fangirl!
Puppy came back with a side of WTF!
Bajamma
WTF is right Ryan – she loves me and insults me at the same time. I’m still upset over losing my Aunt and I can’t handle this shit right now.