Box Office Breakdown! Twisters Flies To Number One! Despicable Me Is Number Two! And More!

Oh Susan,

Time is fleeting, like the dawn breaking over a sun kissed stream. I must be brief, I must not shed the skin of my forbearers to make light of a situation that only dancers and lovers understand. It’s a time of uncertainty, a time that tells us as people, we are not alone and not deceived by the magnanimous hordes.

Oh Susan, lovers like us need respite on the eve of heartbreak. I miss the sweet kisses and nibblers that tickle my loins from where we all come from. I miss the milky skin, I dangled my finger tips over ever so briefly. Hi. I mean that. Susan, I know what you would say, “Wanda! Stop your stupid foolishness!” And you would slap me and pull my braids by the root discarding my wishes and ever knowing thoughts.

I did write a song for you… It must be short though, it must be.

Suddenly Susan, you’re right here beside me. Knowing my truth, knowing my love and knowing my heart.

Oh Suddenly Susan, you’re right here beside me, Dancing with grace, dancing with love, dancing with my sprit.

SUDDENLY SUSAN! (This is a wonderful high pitched solo where I really emphasize the words and emotion of the song) You are my love, you are my soul and you are my blanket. Keeping me warm! Keeping me real and keeping me loved.

I know. Powerful. The Minstrel hates it. He thinks there should be no high pitched solo and I grabbed his man junk and smashed it hard and said, “We are loved!” He understood. I hate him, I hope he smells better and I hope he learns how to treat his donkey, Kope’

I’m telling you Susan, the Minstrel ate that donkey and it was NOT fine tasting.

Now, a bit of housekeeping. I know you’re starting your quest. Susan, we are separated by miles and water but joined by thoughts, emotions and synergy. Yes, love. I love your beard scruff, I love when I can taste what you ate last week in your flaxen hair.

Susan, I killed two turtles, one turtle is for the Bohunk. That turtle was fresh and its innards were lovely. I hate them and used the shell and a spoon. Your turtle, the innards were rotten and I couldn’t eat them. Susan, I think your quest is a flatline and I worry that you will not pick up the sword that you so eagerly want to. We must all pray and put our hopes, dreams and love into the Bohunks love. Yours is thrown into the wild and gone.

Sad. The truth is the truth though. A rotten turtle is not a good sign. I blame the Minstrel. He’s a devil. A little devil. Susan, find the Minstrel and make that your new quest. Every hair of his should be pulled out by the root and burned and placed into a glass mixed with bubble water and drank in one swig.

He’s my mate and I can’t say anything.

I pray for the Bohunk. His heart is love, his armpits are ripe and delicious, Susan, I know what you would say, “The sweaty goodness is all perfection and I want to dance! I only want to dance and eat cheese.” Susan, I know your love of cheese is strong but put that energy into the Bohunk. He needs your compassion and love. He needs the heart of a lion. He needs so much. It’s up to us Susan. Up to us to show that love and goodness to others. The Bohunk is a treasure, I think of him often in my hard times. I think of you when I wear my poncho that is stained with my woman juices.

More housekeeping, Friend Siebert has died. I took a rock and tied it to him so he would sink slowly into the murky depths of the abyss of life. I serviced the cabbage gas man again. He is old and wrinkly, my other half was incensed, but it was important. If you hear from The Lanky One, he is the Minstrels best friend and not a good egg. He eats much waste and has betrayed The Frenchman. Yes, they’re back and I’m concerned the Frenchman will take his sweaty armpit hair out and open a portal to a new dimension without our knowledge. I may die.

I just want the Bohunk to know love. Susan, he doesn’t know. I fear for him. I fear that he would never understand the price of society. Help Susan. Help him. I don’t communicate with him like you. He needs that love.

I will eat a raw chicken for him now.

Show that love.

Toodles and Toshes

Wanda (although I might change my name to Killion’s Fairy for short)