It’s everyone’s favorite time of the week! It’s Fanboy Fail Friday! Today Big Mike is chiming in with his multiple Harrison Ford fails. I had one myself today, but I figured I would give Big Mike the floor.
You know, there’s one thing about missing someone small but getting the slip from someone truly iconic is just a heartbreaking sad feeling. Trust me I have a vintage Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom counter standee on my office shelf that is begging to get signed. Sigh…
Big Mike missed Harrison Ford not once but twice in the span of seven days! Doh! And I have to say we all miss Big Mike around these parts! He’s one awesome guy and I hate thinking of him getting any fails!
Check out his full report after the jump!
That Ford Was Not With Us
Hello, grapher-fans. How the hell ya been? It’s “Big Mike”, as I’m known in this fanboy world here. I’ve been taking it easy for a while and by that I mean, I haven’t had any decent tips on TV show premieres, or a lot of awesome Q & A’s that this town has to offer. Don’t get me wrong, there have been a few, they just weren’t much to write aboot. Sometimes you just go and it’s either a snap, or a colossal waste of fucking time. Which brings us to this particular column.
Harrison Ford has a new movie and this was something hundreds of graphers and dealers have been waiting for. “42” opened last week and I stopped by the premiere and had a quite a decent spot, which is normally unusual, but I left work early and got to Hollywood in a decent amount of time, which is always the first bad omen for me. Actually, that one works both ways. It’s either a slow pain in the ass to get to an opportunity, or a super quick trip, which puts me on guard. The trip to the premiere was fairly easy, could’ve gone even faster if I didn’t decide to experiment with the route on the way there. That’s something you should never do going to any event that is “Star Wars” related. Either way, I got to the event and was only the second person deep, which is ideal for people who have multiple items, because Harry Ford is a “one-er”. Now, it is no secret that I am karma’s bitch in this world. That “murphy’s law” guy is no friend of mine, which is unfortunate because I really like Irish girls, don’t care for Lakers fans much, and love drinking. I psych myself out and overthink things too much. “Should I bring more than one item, or am I being presumptuous?” “If I bring one item, they’ll probably rack.” (That means signs a lot. You’re welcome.—Just because you know what that means now doesn’t mean you’re in the club!) The last time Mr. Ford was doing the rounds in LA he seemed to be signing a lot. That was when “Cowboys & Aliens” came out, so it’s been a while. I didn’t think he would be signing at anything then so I didn’t go out and he wound up racking for some reason. When I did make it out, well, nothing happened.
I didn’t feel like letting that happen again. Reports had it that he was signing lately. I wasn’t going to write aboot the premiere because we all know what happened. Yes, he crossed over after telling us he was running late. The ol’ pointing to his wrist at the part where old people used to hang their watches. Kids, watches are mini clocks connected to a band that goes around your wrist. They’re for telling time. You know, that thing you look at your phone screen for when you’re timing yourself on how long you can go without looking at your phone. I was in the section across from where the drop-off was. Probably not a bad location to be at a premiere. I was in a row behind almost all dealers. I figured they’re the ones that usually get all the graphs, so wait by them!
I was going to wait at the complete opposite end at first, but I’m tired of hearing how the dealers get all the luck. I was lucky enough to be by Scotty, so at least I was in good company along with a couple other nice chaps. This really wasn’t a good premiere. Christopher Meloni was the hero of this one. He was kind enough to start with Scotty and go down the whole line from there and back to the section to our right that he missed.
I didn’t have anything for him, as I’m not really a fan for whatever reason. Some ass-tard still had the nerve to boo him when he finally crossed back over, but he took it pretty well. We were all there for big Harry and he was the last to arrive. The star of the film, Chadwick Bose, just gave a wave and “one moment” sign, but never came over. Not a good move if this is your first major role. His publicist, (publicists suck) should’ve had him come over for at least a couple of shots with fans asking for autographs. Doesn’t matter, we were there for Indy. Now he gave us a brush off move, as if he’s late. He forgot if he’s Harrison Ford, he’s not late. They’ll wait. We’ll wait. Somehow, he crossed the street and we were all shocked. Unfortunately, he went straight to the middle section to my left.
I was hoping he was just going to work his way down towards my section, but aboot five minutes in just that section he crossed back over and most of us dispersed. The theory turned out to be that he probably knew the dealers would be in the section closest to the dropoff so he skipped it completely. I would’ve missed him if I stayed in the first spot I had, so I don’t know what I’ll do next premiere. I figured he’d probably leave not long after the film started but I wasn’t going to wait to see him drive by my which is what happened the first three times I tried to get him. Those were harsh. At least I only waited about two to three hours for this fail.
The real fail was his final talk show appearance promoting “42”. The taping was scheduled to start around 4:30pm so I made sure to get there around 1pm. There was already aboot twenty people there when I arrived. That’s a terrible sign, because that means at least twenty more people are going to cut in with the dealers that got there before me. That never fails. People do occasionally hold a spot for a friend, but when it’s something huge, you’re only going to get more and more pissed at the people ahead of you as the day progresses. This time I got to stand in line with Suddenly Susan and it was cool listening to the progression of her swearing as the afternoon wore on.
I had very low hopes of getting Ford today, so I knew how to handle the day. This damn hobby is so hit and miss. The last time he made an appearance at this show is the one where he signed and signed and I refused to leave work early thinking he’d ditch and go to a Q & A in Santa Monica where Jon Favreau was scheduled to be. “He’ll probably bring Ford!” was the stupid thought going in my head. When I heard how he signed away I thought my gamble would pay off. It did not. It failed miserably. I didn’t even bring anything for Favreau to sign. That’s how freakin’ stupid I was that day. Never again. Well once, but I won’t get into that right now. This time I was ready for a rack session or a one-er, but I expected nothing.
All the usual faces were there. Scotty made it,
CB was there, and Mike the Fanboy himself even managed to find a spot a couple of people behind me despite getting there as late as he did.
(Editor’s Note: I have often relied on the kindness of friends, awesome people and strangers! M-)
I’ll leave that spot open for an editor’s note. J It was around 5pm when ol’ Harry arrived. There were now aboot thirty-some people in front of me and it didn’t look good for a lot of us, but at least it was a straight line behind a barricade so it could be somewhat controlled if he did come over. He seems to prefer it that way and hates crowds and when they yell for him to sign. Just get his attention and be quiet and orderly if he makes his way over. Do not give him more than one item and don’t try and chit-chat with him. Just say “please” and “thank you” and move on. You’re welcome. Okay, we did yell to get his attention, but not too loud. He didn’t even look at us on the way in.
Rumor has it, that at the premiere after-party he signed for a few folks on the way out. Had I known where it was, I wonder if I would’ve stayed. (Nah.) Word is that things got rowdy and crowded and a barricade fell over and he dropped the sharpie and said wasn’t doing this anymore. Now, I don’t know if it meant just that night or forever, but we were all starting to get that bad feeling. The nice part aboot the afternoon was the marketing company that threw a bunch of posters away. If you need any “Burt Wonderstone” posters I know a dumpster full of them. I grabbed a “Silver Linings Playbook” poster myself. Good flick. I’ll probably never get that one signed, but it’s nice to have.
With Ford on the inside now that gave us an hour and a half to two hour window to hit the washroom, let more people cut in line, or go puke on the side of a building which poor Andrew did many times. He looked like Han Solo did after he was unfrozen from the carbonite. Or, how Mark Hamill and most of the other cast looked when they saw how much money they got screwed out of when it was all said and done. I hope they get their payday the next time around. And also stop charging an arm and a leg for an autograph.
As the clock was winding down everyone chose what item they would try and get signed. I had my vintage re-issue Han Solo Star Wars figure ready. It would look great with an autograph right above the Kenner logo. I was lucky to be in a group of folks that didn’t seem to be the “covering” type. I was ready to knock anything out of my way today anyway. It was about hour six of waiting and I was looking down at my phone trying to prep it for when Ford came out.
I heard everyone calling for him and by the time I looked up all I saw was his back walking into the parking lot and then folks running off as if he would roll down his window for them and sign after all. I don’t believe in crowding around someone’s car. I wouldn’t sign for folks if I were in my car. Too many crazy muhfuggahs out there. Well, it took me six hours to realize Ford would be true to the words he uttered at the after-party a week before. While that did suck, I wasn’t surprised one bit. I had to go see for myself though. I’m still kicking myself for the three or four opportunities I missed where he did sign for folks the last two years. Oh, well. It’s not the first time that’s happened, and it’s not the last. At least I got poster I’ll never get Robert Deniro on.
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