Fanboy Fail Fridays! Getting ROYALLY Dissed By Nomi AKA Elizabeth Berkley And Just Missing Janet Jackson! Doh! With Marcia Cross To Boot!

Ah, the grand tradition of Fanboy Fail Fridays… Today… Today was a real bummer I will admit. Scotty and I are both huge fans of the cult classic, the amazing, the wonderful, Showgirls… Now, I’ve gotten Gina Gershon (Cristal Connors!) and you may remember when Scotty and I got Paul Verhoven (Showgirls is the movie that killed my career!) but we’ve never gotten Elizabeth Berkley!

Nomi! Well… Can I just say kids… Nomi’s a bitch!

I speak it plain, I speak it simple.

This is the first time I have seen Elizabeth Berkley on a list that wasn’t a book signing, her books are “teenage” self help books and it was clear in the rules she would not sign other items. I’m not sure what she was going to help teens with… I mean, would a teenager know Saved By The Bell? Surely the self help book was not career advice…

Anyway, also on the list was Janet Jackson… Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty… And a few other people. It was for a store called Dylan’s Candy Bar…

The outside looked festive and fun… Pinky arrived as did Lindsay from I Am Not A Stalker, and Pinky’s dog Sammy.

There were giant men dressed as bunnies… BUNNIES! BUNNIES IT MUST BE BUNNIES! Sorry had to be done.

A few people came in, Blair Underwood who was nice, Harry Hamlin, but no Nomi…

I was beginning to lose hope.

No one expected Janet Jackson to come, let’s be honest… Janet Jackson coming to a small candy store opening with Blair Underwood?

Crazy enough…. Janet showed up! She signed two cd’s and then ran inside… I almost got run over be her security… Sigh… Fail #1

As Janet was going inside… Guess who snuck in? Elizabeth Berkley! Mother fucking Nomi snuck her ass in… Grumble… So we wait.

Scotty took some snapshots of Janet buying some candy in the store window.

Man, she was the shit back in the day! I still love her… God bless her. I have my Alright die cut picture disc for her.

Mario Lopez is leaving… It was a whole Saved By The Bell reunion!

AC Slater and Jessie Spano! Sadly Mario Lopez wears more makeup now then he did when he was on the show.

Oh, something is happening… Janet Jackson is leaving… Scotty and I try with his poster and my picture disc but we get brushed aside by Janet’s security… Fail…#2

Then I see Marcia Cross go inside… I don’t have anything for her… But Lindsay is super happy she’s here!

I’m getting very nervous about Elizabeth Berkley… Now, growing up in Michigan everyone heard about Elizabeth Berkley because that’s where she’s from… I knew people who went to acting class with her and said what a monster she was. And I’ve gone to school’s where she studied (not that wearing pasties is a ringing endorsement of your acting talent but still) and everyone said she’s not nice. That was a mild way to put it. But I take everything with a grain of salt, I hear she signs and is desperate for attention now, so I figure this could be good.

Marcia Cross is leaving, and tells Lindsay “no” to a photo.

She is super nice though she says, “Normally, I would but I have my kids and I just need to get out of here.” She’s right, normally Marcia Cross is really sweet. Fail #3

Sorry Linds.

Family Ties star Justine Bateman is leaving and she stops for a quick fan photo. Very nice! YAY! Finally, someone nice!

We’re waiting and waiting and waiting… Now, when she arrived Elizabeth Berkley drove and parked and walked over… Now… A car is pulling up. There are maybe six or seven people waiting for her… Scotty and I and a few girls.

Everyone else just wanted to look at the candy. Yep, you’ve hit a career high when a blow pop gets more attention than you do.

Suddenly, there are four security guards blocking the exit. I honestly was a tad confused? I mean, surely not for Elizabeth? I thought Angelina Jolie went in and we missed her? Elizabeth drove herself… She’s… She’s.. Well, she’s fucking Elizabeth Berkley! Only people with a taste for bad cinema and children’s faux sitcoms from the early 1990’s would give a shit… But yet, she needs security to keep the horde’s of people away.

Oh… Elizabeth Berkley is… is… Leaving! In fact, she leaves all smiles as a young girl, who shockingly knew who she was… Honestly, I was/am concerned this girl is going to grow up fucking Kyle Maclachlan in a Vegas swimming pool with a faux waterfall, but I’m digressing. As the girl called out, Elizabeth Berkley flipped her hair so she wouldn’t make eye contact.

Wow…

No see, here’s the thing. I don’t blame Janet Jackson… She’s a personality, she was the shit for a period of time, even now she has a fanbase… But Elizabeth Berkley? She hasn’t been relevant since… Since… SINCE… She’s never been relevant and to act like that… From someone who’s biggest claim to fame was getting high on speed and singing Maniac to Zack Morris, she really should keep herself in check.

Once I’ve seen you talk about the joys of eating puppy chow in real life or on film, you can no longer be a diva. Case closed.

This happened a couple months ago, and I’m still a little mad. I kept meaning to write it, but I thought… If I write this now, it’s going to be so angry, so instead it’s only a tad angry. I think that’s healthy.

It’s just so strange to me, that here is a woman who for all intensive purposes America has seen naked, trying to repackage herself only to diss the small girls she is trying to peddle her book to. What advice can you really give someone Elizabeth? Advice on how to be bitchy? Really?

See, I knew when writing this I was going to come off bitter…

Ah, fuck it… What can you do right? LOL…

Until next time kids…