Total Recall Movie Premiere Report! With Kate Beckinsale! Bryan Cranston! And… John Cho! And Just Missing Colin Farrell and Jessica Biel! Doh! Autographs! Photos and More!

Man, I’ll tell you. I’ve been really excited for Total Recall, I’m sure if you have read anything the past week on the site you’ll be like, “no shit Mike!” lol… So of course when the Total Recall premiere popped up, I was like… I’m there! Colin Farrell and Kate Beckinsale together… Onscreen… In all their sexiness! HELLO!

Thankfully, Billy Beer was on site early along with the writer formerly known as CB. The Lovely Erica and Scotty were also on site so I was joining them already i progress.

I’m crossing my fingers for this one… Sigh…

3:43 p.m. – I just arrived and honestly the spot CB saved is kinda far. Not that it’s his fault, what can you do right. He and Billy Beer are closer to the drop so Scotty and Erica have elected to hang there behind Billy.

4:01 p.m. – After debating for a second I decide to stay here, it’s farther away but you know… What can you do… You never know…

4:22 p.m. – Man, they are expecting this one to be huge. There’s a giant crane swinging around that they are prepping…

4:43 p.m. – I looked up and just realized that the Chinese Theatre is showing John Carter still… When did The Chinese Theater become a dollar show? The term “dollar show” is very midwestern and I apologize for all you westerners who just scratched their heads and went “Huh?”

4:54 p.m. – There are a bunch of people here but not like massive swarms of people like in the past. I’m a little shocked because this is a huge movie… Or at least I thought it was a huge movie… LOL…

5:15 p.m. – I always wonder what people think looking at the barricade from the other end or across the street. They just see bags tied to a barricade and tons of crap everywhere! I find that funny! Of course it’s hot and there’s a good possibility I have heatstroke. Which would explain why I’m standing by myself laughing while taking a photo of the ground.

5:32 p.m. – I miss hanging with the rest of the gang. It’s always so much more fun being with friends at events like this. I feel like an orphaned Fanboy alone among the unwashed masses.

5:44 p.m. – Awww there’s a cute dog riding shotgun in a convertible! He’s not Theo cute, but let’s be honest what dog is Theo cute? I mean, his cuteness is talked about all over the web. If you type, “theo cute french bulldog” into google, look at the top four images! I rest my case! He’s adorable!

6:09 p.m. – I hope this starts soon. I hate heat and I get dehydrated so so fast! I’m feeling it man.

6:21 p.m. – They just put real guys onto the carpet dressed in costumes from Total Recall. That’s pretty cool.

6:34 p.m. – Okay, everyone is waiting for arrivals… Anytime now!

6:41 p.m. – The first arrival. It’s Bokeem Woodbine. People are calling for him and it doesn’t look like he’s going to come over… Wait… Wait… Oh, here he comes!

He comes right to my section (which could be interpreted as a good sign but I’m not judging my bets just yet) and starts to sign down the line. I got him on my second Total Recall poster, yep Scotty found mini posters and even though I hate this poster I figured why not right?

6:42 p.m. – Bokeem Woodbine was really nice and signed about 20 autographs.

6:45 p.m. – Oh shit! There’s Colin Farrell… Damn…

He’s figuring out where to start. He heads over and starts to sign and then goes all the way to the end of the barricade. Oh no… I hope he gets to everyone!

6:49 p.m. – John Cho has just arrived.

I gave Erica my Star Trek poster because she didn’t have anything so hopefully, she can get it. John is by far the hardest to get out of the Star Trek cast.

6:50 p.m. – John walks on over and starts to sign, but he misses Erica’s section and comes to my section.

Of course! John is really nice today and I got him on my second Total Recall poster.

He signs quite a few before heading back.

6:56 p.m. – Colin Farrell is now across the street signing for people. Dammit! Ah well… Maybe he’ll come back across…

7:01 p.m. – Oh… Oh… Colin Farrell has crossed back and is now on our side, but he’s skipping around because people are being a tad aggressive. He skipped Erica’s section… He’s coming our way, when the girl next to me starts screaming, “I’m being pushed! I’m being pushed!” And then she starts flailing around. Colin’s publicist looks over in horror and then takes Colin Farrell around our section. WTF! Then the girl starts crying…”Why didn’t Colin sign for me!” And I’m like, “Well you were flailing around like you were having a seizure that’s why!” Duh! Lord… If she would have just behaved, we would have gotten him! Dammit!

7:05 p.m. – Bryan Cranston is here and coming over to sign. Bryan is so so so nice.

I have another Breaking Bad promo book from a presskit I had. Bryan is signing on the other end…

7:06 p.m. – Oh and there’s Jessica Biel! Shit. She’s coming over right to the middle.

So close and yet so far away. She is of course taking her time and pretty much staying in one spot. Sigh…

7:08 p.m. – Bryan Cranston is moving around her and signing.

He sees my promo book and is like, “Oh My God!” He reads Aaron Paul’s inscription on the book which says, “Don’t Do Meth” and Bryan says, “No! Do it!” and he writes that on the book as well. That’s pretty awesome!

7:11 p.m. – Jessica is signing and then there’s Kate Beckinsale.

She arrives and literally glows. Like GLOWS! I love that woman!

She comes right on over and starts to sign, and then then Jessica stops and heads back never even getting close to my section. Sigh…

7:13 p.m. – Kate is signing her life away.

I swear to God, at fan events like this Kate is so so so so so sweet. She talks to people and I man spends as much time as possible.

Her people are trying to keep everything to one each, which is fine. I decided not to get her on my poster and instead go for a couple magazines I have.

Kate comes my way and I thanked her for coming over, and “She says it’s my pleasure!”

she signs my 2009 Esquire magazine

and then I pulled out my 2009 Angelino magazine.

Her publicist says, one each! And I must have looked shocked, and Kate takes it and signs it and says, “We won’t tell will we!” and she gave me the cutest look, very saucy and English and I lost the ability to speak. Literally no words, I was like, “ahhhhhh” Like a mute, Kate Beckinsale made me a mute. It happens.

And that kids as we say is that!

I met up with Scotty, Erica and Billy who did way better that I did. After eating we headed to try and get people leaving. I did get John Cho who apparently look an awesome pill because he was nicer than I have ever seen him. He signed my Star Trek mini poster but everyone else ran right to their cars.

So, all in all not a total fail but a let down. It’s hard to go to a premiere and miss the star. LOL… Ah well…

I do have a Total Recall mini poster signed by john cho and Bokeem Woodbine which I think needs to be taken to the framers right this second!!!

Until next time kids…