2013 Palm Springs International Film Festival! With Bradley Cooper! Charo! Diane Lane! Ang Lee! Sally Field! Naomi Watts! Tom Holland! Ben Affleck! Helen Mirren! Eddie Redmayne! Autographs! Photos!

Today is the first even MTF Road Trip! Scotty, Billy Beer, The Other Mike, CB and I are heading down the highway to the 2013 Palm Springs International Film Festival. Now, here’s the thing, the lineup isn’t that outstanding, it’s good don’t get me wrong, but it’s not amazing. However, we all just figured it would be worth checking out.

We are all armed to the gills with crap, and load up in the Billy mobile to head to the desert. I’ll spare you the play by play of car talk but a quick recap consists of, “can we stop for food?” Batman toys, Bane, “Are we there yet?”, What Dark Knight sucked, and trying to find more food.

In fact, CB wanted food so bad he made Billy pull over in the middle of nowhere at a Mobil station, then wanted to stop 10 minutes later. Sigh…

DVD Dave texted us as we were about 20 minutes away and said that a lot of people were there, so CB started tripping balls.

We knew we were close as we passed the giant Marilyn Monroe statue.

CB, The Other Mike and I went over to secure our spots as Billy and Scotty parked. Once we arrived we realized it wasn’t that bad. Dave had a couple spots where he was and we put our crap about 9 people down. Not bad really.

10:41 a.m. – Billy Beer and Scotty just joined us. As we all get out bearings The Other Mike and CB take off to find food. When they get back we are all going to go for lunch.

11:01 a.m. – It’s a little bare in terms of set up. I’m sure it will look more glamorous later on.

11:31 a.m. – The Other Mike and CB are still gone… I guess food is far far away. I have to say it’s interesting… It’s warm, yet cold. Welcome to the desert! This really is a local event a lot of people are just here in their giant chairs, without anything to get signed, just waiting for the show.

11:42 a.m. – They are moving a car into place on the carpet now…

11:43 a.m. – And the Cartier logo is being set up.

11:45 a.m. – Okay, this is odd… So apparently a whole group of people set up a row of 10 chairs, roped them off in a prime spot and just told another guy waiting that they will be back at 4 and if they would watch their chairs. The guy was telling me this and I’m like how rude! I’m totally guilty of having people save spots and one or two is fine but to not even take shifts or leave someone there is really obnoxious. The people down from DVD Dave left two chairs there as well… Maybe it’s a Palm Springs thing?

12:09 p.m. – Billy is passing out from lack of food and beer. Yep, The Other Mike and CB are still gone. They are in a text war with Scotty. CB apparently needs to wait another half hour before he can muster the energy to walk back. Sigh…

12:41 p.m. – Oh Lord, finally CB and The Other Mike are back.

12:44 p.m. – We get to eat! On the way out Billy Beer gets stopped by a Palm Springs local who starts talking smack about how bad the Detroit Pistons are. LOL… God bless Palm Springs! They are testy here!

12:51 p.m. – It’s really beautiful here! I love the mountains!

12:56 p.m. – We’re passing the giant Marilyn Monroe now in search of food!

1:02 p.m. – We settled on Ruby’s not bad, not great but not bad.

1:31 p.m. – The Other Mike keeps telling us that they are passing out wristbands, setting up another barricade, etc… Ass…

1:33 p.m. – Billy finishes lunch and goes to get some alcohol flowing through his system. LOL… His name is Billy Beer after all.

1:42 p.m. – We join Billy and then Scotty and DVD Dave head back while Billy finishes his drink.

1:43 p.m. – I couldn’t resist getting a photo with the Sonny Bono statue; we are in Palm Springs after all!

1:46 p.m. – Billy and I are heading back. It’s a cute little area here!

1:48 p.m. – And we had to get photos with the giant Marilyn Monroe statue.

1:53 p.m. – I am directionally challenged and Billy is leading us back. So… We’re lost… Sigh…

1:54 p.m. – Ahem… Thanks Billy!

2:11 p.m. – We’re back and the press is going into their pens!

2:31 p.m. – The chairs people set up are still empty. Wow, that’s ballsy!

3:04 p.m. – I just ran into MTF reader and all around awesome guy Michael and his wife! We chatted for a second as I relax on my stool.

3:12 p.m. – Billy whips out one of CB’s boxing gloves apparently he brought them for David O’Russell… Sigh…

3:32 p.m. – Scotty decides make some signs. Scotty the sign maker!

3:45 p.m. – Scotty and I joined The Other Mike and DVD Dave closer to the drop. When people moved their chairs a lot of room opened up so that worked out nice!

4:01 p.m. – It’s getting closer!

4:11 p.m. – Oh dear some of the chair people are coming back. Now, we’re not in the spot where the people had their chairs, that’s actually two people down from us. BUT when these people who put down two chairs and brought three people come back 15 minutes before the start of the event they want to be in the front. The guy says to me, “Can you make a spot, we had chairs here.” I looked at him and said, “No.” He says, “Oh, you can’t leave chairs and save your spot now.” And again I look at the guy and say “No!” Then it’s on, DVD Dave says, “You can’t leave for 12 hours and then come back 10 minutes before the start and walk to the front wherever you want.” Then the guy then says, “I have a life, I can’t be here all day.” Then we stopped trying to figure out a way to be nice to the douches.

4:13 p.m. – Tensions are now high; the girl with the douchey guy actually says to me, “you should get on your knees so we can see!” To which I have to say, “I’m not getting on my knees for anyone, especially you.” The Other Mike is getting into the mix, oh it’s fun.

4:14 p.m. – The Other Mike turns around and tries to ask the girl if there was someone she really wanted to see, he would let her in and try to work it out. But before he could get all of that out. The girl says, “Just turn around and don’t talk. I’m mad I’m pissed.” So, The Other Mike flips her off and calls her a word that rhymes with Helen Hunt, minus the Helen, Minus the second H and adding a C. I stop Mike from going further, and the crowd got all hushed. This is Palm Springs not Hollywood. LOL… Oh, man… And you know, I don’t even understand what the hell these people thought. Oh, we put chairs down for 11 hours and then left so we should be in front. Ummm so you knew it would be crowded, you know in a crowd people shift and you thought what? Your magic chairs would give you front row? Ah, Argo fuck yourself!

4:21 p.m. – After all this drama The Other Mike needs to pee five times and keeps leaving his spot. He has the bladder of a tit mouse.

4:31 p.m. – People are arriving! It’s a taxi! I’m sure Mary Hart is going to pull up in that!

4:34 p.m. – The people in the bleacher seats look so enthused! LOL…

4:42 p.m. – Oh shit, the first arrival is Tom Holland from The Impossible. He is really nice and we can hear Billy Beer and CB yelling for him.

He comes right on over and signs for them and anyone who asks. I wish I would have printed an Impossible poster dammit!

4:46 p.m. – Oh, director Ang Lee is here! I pull out my Brokeback Mountain For Your Consideration pamphlet and DVD cover! Ang Lee is so nice!

He comes over and signs and signs… I think he came by me like three times. He signed the pamphlet and then the DVD cover as well.

4:51 p.m. – Dude, when it gets dark in Palm Springs, it gets dark!

4:53 p.m. – Traffic is backing up now… Oh crap it’s Charo! LOL… I love her!

We call her over and Scotty got a photo with her!

4:59 p.m. – Holy shit! There’s legendary Sally Field! We yell and yell for her. It doesn’t look like she’s going to come over.

5:01 p.m. – A blonde woman is walking over, that’s not Sally Field… Hell, that’s Naomi Watts! I whip through my crap and pull out my The Ring mini poster.

The Other Mike says to her, “Are you Naomi?” She says “Yes!” Doh! Naomi Watts signs my Ring mini poster and then I search for my Vanity Fair magazine.

Thankfully, it was in the front of all my crap and Naomi signs that as well.

5:02 p.m. – Hell! Sally Field is coming over. She is very nice and signs my Mrs. Doubtfire mini poster.

She wouldn’t sign my Playboy magazine though, lol… Ah well…

5:15 p.m. – Another drop… It’s Helen Mirren!

Helen is so nice. I got most of my stuff signed at the Walk of Fame but found a Red mini poster to bring.

Helen comes right on over and signs one each for everyone. I just love her!

5:31 p.m. – There’s Bryan Cranston! He just dropped and all call for him. He crosses to the other side though and is going the wrong way! Dammit!

5:34 p.m. – Tom Hooper and Eddie Redmayne just dropped and both are running over.

I don’t have anything for them so I help The Other Mike get some of his stuff signed.

5:35 p.m. – I got Eddie Redmayne and shit Richard Gere arrives with Diane Lane. I keep trying to give The Other Mike his photo but he’s not listening so I throw it into his book so I can grab my friends Richard Gere magazine and my Man of Steel mini poster. Richard goes to the other end and is shaking hands with people as he walks the line. Diane Lane comes closer to us.

She signs a photo for The Other Mike and then I ask he to sign my Man Of Steel poster in gold. She drops the blue pen and signs my mini poster in gold for me. Very nice.

I told her how much I loved Under the Tuscan Sun, I think she actually appreciated it. She probably signed three autographs, lol…

5:36 p.m. – Richard Gere is getting closer but stops like three people away from me. I yelled and yelled for him to sign my magazine but alas it didn’t happen. I think he signed 7 things.

5:43 p.m. – Oh crap, there’s Ben Affleck. I flip to my Argo mini poster and Ben comes to me first and signs, I couldn’t even grab my magazines for him… Crap. That’s what happens when you have so much crap for someone… He is whipping down the line and moves super fast. I couldn’t even get a photo. Doh!

5:53 p.m. – And there’s Bradley Cooper! He as usual is super nice… He comes over and starts signing just to the left of me.

He has a black pen and I ask him to switch to blue to match the rest of my poster. I told him how much I loved this movie and how I thought that this was the best role he’s ever done.

It’s true if you haven’t seen Silver Linings Playbook go now. It’s awesome. Then Bradley signed my mini Silver Linings Playbook football as well. LOL… I love getting odd stuff signed. It’s so fun! Bradley Cooper signs and signs and signs and signs… He’s so nice!

And Tom Hanks… He snuck in…

This was a long long long long day.. I had a good time hanging with everyone, but I would have to think about going again. The time, the effort and dealing with the crazy chair people kind of soured it a little for me. Still, I’m not unhappy with what I got, getting Ang Lee and Diane lane especially were really thrills! And I have 100 things for Ben Affleck so it’s always cool to get him.

Now, I’m going to sleep.. Until next time kids…